He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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