I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
