According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
