just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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