I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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