My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
