i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
