her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
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Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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