He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
