shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
