she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
