I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
