So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
