I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
