im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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