Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
