Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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