sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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