It's like a parade of train wrecks.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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