need another drink. this is the easiest way
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
