i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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