Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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