Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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