My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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