Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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