So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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