Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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