my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
