You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
