I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
