You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
