true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
be right there i have to get my cape
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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