My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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