She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
that may or may not have been my penis.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
