We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How external is "for external use only"?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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