Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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