i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
