no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
