Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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