I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i came on her dog
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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