i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
