I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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