Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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