Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
