If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
