Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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