At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
