I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
