I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
