so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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