Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
