You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize