Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
