Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
