people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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