we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
