Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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