hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
