I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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