Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Shame - the story of my life.
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