Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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